How to Practice Loving Kindness Meditation
Loving Kindness Meditation, or Metta, is a popular self-care technique that can be used to boost well-being and reduce stress. It is a practice that I personally use when I find myself feeling disconnected, or having negative thinking patterns. Those who regularly practice loving kindness meditation are able to increase their capacity for forgiveness, connection to others, self-acceptance, and more.
Using this style of mindfulness meditation we can help to halt the endless mental chatter we all experience at times, and even cut off the cycle of suffering.
Benefits of Loving Kindness Meditation
During Loving Kindness meditation, you focus benevolent and loving energy toward yourself and others. This form of meditation takes practice, and may feel odd or slightly unnatural the first few times you practice it. You may feel resistance to the practice, but often times that which we resist is what we need most in our lives. The reason for our resistance is usually because the average person is not used to this level of giving and receiving love.
There has been a lot of research done on this type of mediation. Some of the benefits noted are management of social anxiety, interpersonal conflict, anger, and copy with the strains of long-term caregiving. It has also been shown that Loving Kindness Meditation can enhance the activation of brain areas that are involved in emotional processing and empathy to boost a sense of positivity and reduce negativity.
Practicing Loving Kindness has also been shown to be one of the more effective ways to handle a mind that is impatient and angry. Part of this practice is letting go and sending the self friendliness for ourselves, which can help to help us be more tolerant and less frustrated with ourselves, and that feeling of patience and forgiveness also spreads towards others!
While more research is needed to confirm the full extent of Loving Kindness Meditation benefits, there are no risks or costs associated with the practice. So if you choose to give this meditative practice a try, you've got nothing to lose except for a few quiet moments in your day!
How to Practice Loving Kindness Meditation
There are different ways to practice this form of meditation, each based on different Buddhist traditions, but each variation uses the same core psychological operation. During your meditation, you generate kind intentions toward certain targets including yourself and others.
The following is a simple and effective loving kindness meditation technique to try. You can also listen to this Loving Kindness Guided Meditation and see what comes up for you. Know that it may seem awkward at first, but don’t give up, try it a few times and notice how you feel afterwards.
Carve out some quiet time for yourself (even a few minutes will work) and sit comfortably. Close your eyes, relax your muscles, and take a few deep breaths.
Imagine yourself experiencing complete physical and emotional wellness and inner peace. Imagine feeling perfect love for yourself, thanking yourself for all that you are, knowing that you are just right—just as you are. Focus on this feeling of inner peace, and imagine that you are breathing out tension and breathing in feelings of love.
Repeat three or four positive, reassuring phrases to yourself. These messages are examples, but you can also create your own:
May I be happy
May I be safe
May I be healthy, peaceful, and strong
May I give and receive appreciation today
Next, bask in feelings of warmth and self-compassion for a few moments. If your attention drifts, gently redirect it back to these feelings of loving kindness. Let these feelings envelop you.
You can choose to either stay with this focus for the duration of your meditation or begin to shift your focus to loved ones in your life. Begin with someone who you are very close to, such as a spouse, a child, a parent, or a best friend. Feel your gratitude and love for them. Stay with that feeling. You may want to repeat the reassuring phrases.
Once you've held these feelings toward that person, bring other important people from your life into your awareness, one by one, and envision them with perfect wellness and inner peace. Then branch out to other friends, family members, neighbors, and acquaintances. You may even want to include groups of people around the world.
Extend feelings of loving kindness to people around the globe and focus on a feeling of connection and compassion. You may even want to include those with whom you are in conflict to help reach a place of forgiveness or greater peace.
When you feel that your meditation is complete, open your eyes. Remember that you can revisit the wonderful feelings you generated throughout the day. Internalize how loving kindness meditation feels, and return to those feelings by shifting your focus and taking a few deep breaths.
Tips for a More Effective Metta Practice
When you first begin your loving kindness practice, use yourself as the sole subject during meditation. As you get more comfortable with the imagery and loving phrases, begin to add the visualization of others into your practice.
Finally, direct loving kindness meditation toward difficult people in your life. This last arm of Metta boosts feelings of forgiveness and helps you to let go of rumination for an increased sense of inner peace. As you develop a regular practice of meditation, you may want to set a timer with a gentle alarm if you're concerned about spending too much time in focus.
Lastly, remember that this meditation can be practiced in many different ways. The method outlined above is a sample of how you might choose to begin. You may come up with your own loving kindness meditation technique that works better for you. As long as you focus your attention in a way that promotes feelings of loving kindness, you can expect to gain benefits from the practice.
